All Scripts Aside
by Adreus
Summary: crack — "I'm just saying. It seems like..." "What?" "Kratos is in love. With you, Lloyd."


_All Scripts Aside_

* * *

"Lloyd."

Lloyd raised an eyebrow. Zelos was pointing somewhere behind him, to a suspicious bush that was barely visible through the steam rising from the hot springs. Squinting in that direction, Lloyd could just barely make out the faint outline of Kratos's eyes, watching them. Which was slightly unnerving. But only slightly.

"He's been watching you for about ten minutes now," Zelos remarked quietly, in order to remain discreet. Now that—_that _was unnerving. One moment comical, the next serious… the whole time undressed.

Blinking, Genis asked, "Do you think he wants to come in, too?"

Lloyd shrugged. "Should I ask him?" Without waiting for the other guys to respond, he stood up – hot steam water dripping from everywhere and everything in plain sight – which _should _have been perfectly fine, they were all men, after all, and all _straight _men, so there was nothing to be the matter, right? He waved, shouting out, "Hey, Kratos!"

Genis quickly turned to the side to shield his virgin eyes, while Zelos gleefully took in the sight and whistled. A mysterious pebble flew onto his head. Lloyd wisely pretended to ignore all of this.

There was a muffled choke from somewhere in the bushes that quite plainly resembled Kratos's voice.

"Uh, Kratos?" Lloyd asked, "D'you wanna join us?"

For a moment there was silence, where the four in the spring watched the figure in the bushes curiously. At first nothing happened: indeed, it seemed like Kratos was doing his best to blend in with the plant. It wasn't working. Realizing this, Kratos stood up properly and cleared his throat. "No, I'm fine," he spoke, and then bent down, vaguely rummaging through the bushes. "I was just trying to uh… catch this… thing," he added lamely, pointing to something that probably wasn't even there. He appeared in front of them afterwards with a bundle of towels in his hands. He looked at Lloyd—who was still standing—with his eyes anxiously darting to Lloyd's nether regions.

There was an awkward silence. Kratos cleared his throat again. "I shall take my leave now."

More silence.

"Uh…"

Kratos turned around and left, each step splashing in the silence.

Once he had left, Lloyd tilted his head to the side and, confused, asked, "What's up with him?"

Genis, sighing, said, "Lloyd…"

"Hm?" Lloyd turned to face him, expecting to hear something related to Kratos or something else important. To his puzzlement, Genis brought a hand to block his eyes. "What is it, Genis?"

"You mind… using a towel?"

His face melting into a state of panic, Lloyd flushed (Zelos began to laugh, Regal joining in good-naturedly). His face a shade of red that would easily match his clothes if he had them on, Lloyd immediately sank into the water and from them on avoided eye contact with the others for at least two minutes.

"Thank you," said Genis calmly, preeminence laced in his voice. Lloyd located the towel that had fallen off of him and promptly threw it in Genis's direction. Now, normally, Genis wouldn't be able to dodge it with his lackluster reflexes, but as it turned out, he didn't need to – Lloyd wasn't looking, so he, uh, missed completely and the towel soared over Genis's head before landing with a not-so-gracious smack on Zelos's face.

"What was that for?" Zelos cried out with a pout.

"It was for Genis," Lloyd said, "Sorry."

Genis glared at Lloyd. He snatched a nearby towel and made to throw it roughly at Lloyd – but it pathetically went backwards and landed on Zelos, too. Regal, anticipating something about to go horribly wrong, carefully moved to the edge of the spring, where he hopefully would not be dragged into the oncoming mayhem.

"You do realize, of course," Zelos said coolly, "that this means war?"

And there was much throwing of towels. Wet towels. Everywhere. The man that always seemed to be in the springs when they showed up was hit several times by off shots, and did not look very pleased about it. He let them slide off him the first few times, but eventually he got pissed and letting out a frustrated yell, flung a shaft of paper in Regal's direction and stomped out angrily, muttering to himself about contracts.

Curious, Regal picked up the roughly novel-sized stack of papers and read the cover: _Tales of Symphonia Script (English)_.

"This is..."

The interesting stack of papers in hand, Regal sneakily slipped out of the spring and left to read its contents. That was when the fight started to get intense; when a particularly smelly towel tackled Zelos's nose, a light bulb appeared above Zelos's head. Nonplussed, Zelos stared at it. It disappeared, and then he got an idea—an _excellent_ idea, if he did say so himself.

In one swift movement, Zelos slipped off the towel around his waist and rolled it up tight, all the water quickly dripping out. Genis and Lloyd stared with wide eyes—just to scare them even more, Zelos slapped his makeshift whip against the ground. A sharp crack echoed through the air. Lloyd and Genis gulped and slowly backed away. Who knew what Zelos could do with that—?

"H-hey, Zelos—"

"Aaah!"

"Heeelp!"

Zelos cackled madly, swung the towel back and made to attack—

"Lightning!"

—When he was interrupted by a final voice, at whose command a strike of lightning flashed in the sky and struck the water, sending electricity throughout the spring. In a flash (pun totally intended), Kratos stood in front of Lloyd, back to him, sword drawn, ready to kill any threatening opponents who'd come to relax at the springs with them.

"Lloyd, you okay? You aren't hurt?"

"Kratos?" questioned Lloyd. "What are you…" He was confused, looked shocked (since he, uh, was), and kind of worried about Kratos's continued stalking of them. Here they were, having a _wondrous _towel fight, and suddenly here was Kratos again, the traitor, sword at the ready. "…Put that away. There aren't any enemies here."

Kratos didn't. He was glaring at Zelos. "I won't leave you for him to toy with." He glanced sideways at Lloyd in a dramatic Kratos-like manner, then did a double take at Lloyd's distinct lack of pants. Or anything else. Again. Suddenly, his reflection was very interesting, and he absentmindedly inspected it. "Put your towels back on," Kratos commanded at the ground.

Zelos did no such thing. Hands on his waist, he said, "We were enjoying ourselves? What's with your sword out? We're in a spring, not a battle." He smiled smugly, his suspicion piercing daggers into Kratos – and Kratos returned the favor tenfold.

"Yeah," agreed Lloyd, cutting through the tension, though a similar suspicion was in his tone. "Join us. Relax for a bit."

"Yeah!" exclaimed Genis. He tilted his head to the side and scratching the back of it sheepishly, added, "You might want to take off your clothes, though. Wouldn't wanna mess them up."

Kratos made a strange choking sound resembling very closely the one he'd made earlier, and if someone looked closely (we're talking Zelos-level observational skills here, people), they might have also noticed that his eyes were slightly (_slightly!) _larger. He looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't know how exactly to say it.

The towel throwing mood sourly destroyed, Zelos, Lloyd, and Genis sunk back into the water, letting out sighs of comfort and relaxation; Kratos harmonized with one of relief.

"Th-that's okay," he said finally, "I just wanted to be sure you were, uh… safe." Again he sauntered out of the spring, each step another giant splash. Before passing Zelos, he mouthed something that no one else caught; after Zelos snickered, an awkward silence settled in, as it had a habit of doing.

Finally, Lloyd remarked, "He's being really weird today."

Nodding sagely, Zelos guessed, "I wager he's not one of us."

"What are you talking about?" Lloyd asked curiously. _Stupidly_, Genis might have added—he, by now, knew not to wonder about _anything _whenever it came to Zelos. For the aforementioned Chosen's part, it could never be short and simple – or appropriate, for that matter. But Lloyd had apparently yet to learn his learn.

"I'm just saying," Zelos started to expand, shrugging. He made a vague hand gesture and then didn't expand at all; apparently explaining what it was that he was saying wasn't important. He took a step out of the springs and began to redress; he pulled on one detached pink sleeve, then the other – and finally, with both Lloyd and Genis waiting for it, he started, "Maybe Kratos is…"

But then he stopped abruptly, shook his head, dismissed the thought. The thought was persistent, however, and dangled itself in front of Lloyd's head seductively, demanding to be revealed.

"What?" Lloyd urged, "Kratos is what?"

"In love," Zelos deadpanned, "With you."

There was silence.

An inappropriately located daytime cricket chirped.

A bubble floated lazily to the surface of the spring and popped.

More silence.

Then they all burst out laughing.

But a nervous air hung in the air afterwards. Genis and Lloyd felt it dawn upon them at the same moment: wouldn't that explain everything? Why Kratos was so overprotective, so helpful? And Kratos _did _have that mysterious air about him that unless Lloyd be his heir ere another, was rather creepy and stalkerish. Actually, it would still be pretty creepy and stalkerish even if that _was _true…

"You don't think…"

"He can't possibly be…"

An uncomfortable silence birthed an unorthodox scheme. Curiosity was the murderer of many cats in the past years… it was time to jump onto the bandwagon before it left. Lloyd, Zelos, and Genis jumped on—except Genis tripped off the rock of Common Sense and left Lloyd and Zelos alone to their foolish schemes to find out if one Kratos Aurion was gay.

* * *

"Welcome, hunnies, brat, and Regal, to this official meeting of the 'Kratos Inevitably Loves Lloyd' group," Zelos announced calmly around the fire that evening. Save for the man of the hour, every one of their company was present for dinner around the crackling pyre: Regal and Presea had until recently been discussing something about pawpads, Sheena and Colette were speaking of something that Zelos had been rather interested in eavesdropping on (he was sporting a nice bruise that Raine refused to heal where a peeved Sheena had punched him). Lloyd himself had been busy preparing dinner: it was his turn tonight and he was standing over a platter of sandwiches which actually tasted pretty bad. How Lloyd managed to screw up putting a slice of bread on another slice of bread was a mystery in itself.

"The what," Sheena deadpanned, unimpressed.

"K. I. L. L.?" asked Raine.

Nodding seriously, Zelos explained, "I know, I know, you hunnies weren't at our important founding meeting." At this Lloyd arched an eyebrow, unable to recall any such meeting. It took him a moment to realize that Zelos meant earlier in the day at the hot springs. "Don't worry!" Zelos continued dramatically, flipping his hair back into the conveniently blowing night breeze, "The Great Zelos Wilder will explain all!"

Sheena took those words as her cue: she stood, dusted herself off, and left. Raine, Regal, and Genis lagged behind her by no more than two seconds. Presea hesitated; her stomach grumbling loudly, she snatched a sandwich before briskly walking away. The only one who remained was Colette – she smiled sweetly, though it was unclear if she was being kind or if she was genuinely curious.

Zelos, previously upset at the departure of Miss Jubilees, his little rosebud, and the ultra cool beauty professor was instantly cured by Colette's smile. His grin was frightening as he put his arm around her in a one-armed hug and cheered, "I knew you wouldn't let me down, my darling angel!"

But before the Chosen of Tethe'alla could properly glomp his Sylvaranti counterpart and go on about how Colette was just _so _cute, Lloyd had to put his foot down.

"No, Colette," he said, shaking his head, "You don't want to be involved in this."

Colette frowned. Zelos glared. They asked simultaneously, in varying tones, "Huh?"

"You don't think I can help?" Colette asked, looking sad. Truth be told, Lloyd was thinking less of her involvement and more of their mission: Kratos's sexuality was _not _something he wanted Colette thinking about. Ever.

Then there was Zelos.

"That's not it," Lloyd said wisely (_really_!), "It's just… the less time you spend with him"—he glanced sideways at Zelos, who looked very hurt at the accusation—"the better."

"Hey, wait—" Zelos started to whine, but was cut off by a casual punch from Lloyd to the face. The subject of common and constant abuse from pretty much everyone in their party, the Tethe'allan Chosen resorted to glaring with high intensity, a what-is-that-supposed-to-mean expression clearly adorning his face.

"Oh," Colette laughed, her face instantly lightning up. "Sheena was telling me the same thing, too. She said he's…" Colette paused, placing a finger to her chin in contemplation. Zelos watched eagerly, wondering what it was that Sheena might've said about him when he hadn't been around. "What was the word she used? …Oh! A pervert!"

Zelos fell to the ground in a clichéd fashion much expected of him after his anticipation was stabbed in the face. Colette, either ignoring his spaz attacks or simply ignorant, merrily skipped away.

"…Pervert…" came the moan from the ground.

Lloyd put his foot on Zelos's head. "Don't act like it isn't true."

Zelos began to laugh. Lloyd shifted his weight to the foot on Zelos's head.

"…Ow."

* * *

Later that night, Lloyd was missing half a bottle of hair gel.

"Very suspicious," remarked Zelos.

* * *

The following day found Zelos and Lloyd crowded around a crumpled up piece of paper. They were the only ones awake this early (the sun was just coming up over the horizon) except for Kratos, of course, but he didn't count since he couldn't sleep at all and was busy reading a book anyway (_Tales of Symphonia Script: Second Edition_).

"Okay," Zelos started, clearing his throat officially, "Here's what we have so far."

He picked up the paper, smoothed it out, and laid it back down for them both to see.

_Kratos = gay?_

_Proof:_

_+ fabulous bondage outfit_

_+ tomatoes_

_+ stalker_

_+ doesn't stare at miss jubilees's jubilees when she's running_

_+ the way he looks at Lloyd with lust in his eyes_

"Lust," said Lloyd, reading the last part carefully.

"Lust," confirmed Zelos, nodding sagely. In the distance, Kratos sighed loudly, glared in their general direction, threw the book at the ground and cast Fireball on it. It burned to ashes. Zelos chortled. Lloyd didn't ask.

Instead, he said skeptically, "Does he really look at me that funny?"

"With manly love and devotion," confirmed Zelos.

"Tomatoes?" questioned Lloyd.

"Haven't you noticed?" Zelos asked, whipping out a tomato from his pocket and sniffing it to take in the aroma. "Kratos doesn't like them." He said it as though this was final, conclusive, and required no further explanation. He tossed the tomato up, caught it, tossed it up, caught it again. Lloyd's eyes followed it, waiting for something to click…

Eventually…

No. Nothing.

"Zelos, what the hell does that have to do with anything?"

Zelos cackled and shoved the tomato in Lloyd's face. Lloyd, who happened to be allergic to tomatoes, backed up quickly, as though Zelos was holding out a plate of Raine's cooking.

"You see, Lloyd," Zelos said, "I believe that Kratos is a very introspective person. He sees symbolism everywhere." Lloyd nodded, and quickly scribbled down some notes on his hands. "Now, the tomato"—he threw it up again demonstratively and then caught it with the end of his sword—"is very indecisive. Yes?"

"Fruit or vegetable?" contributed Lloyd.

"Exactly. Now, Kratos doesn't like tomatoes because they're unsure of themselves, representing the internal struggle from the awkward period in his life when he, too, was unaware of whether he was, metaphorically of course, a fruit or a vegetable."

Lloyd scratched his head. For some reason, he seriously doubted that Kratos saw symbolism in fruit/vegetables. Couldn't it just be that he didn't like them? Or maybe, like Lloyd, he was allergic?

Lloyd started," What if he's—"

"Now _I,_" Zelos went on loudly, crushing Lloyd's attempt at logic with his interruption, "am a mango."

"…Mango," said Lloyd slowly.

Zelos nodded seriously. "I'm juicy, messy, irresistibly delicious, and attracted to tropical places." At this his eyes travelled to where Sheena was sleeping; Lloyd could practically see the hearts in his eyes. Lloyd kicked Zelos in the shins; Zelos snapped out of it, shaking his head. "…Wait, what were we talking about?"

"Fruits," supplied Lloyd, pointing out the tomato and its insides slowly dripping down Zelos's sword. "And maybe-fruits."

"Oh, right." Zelos quickly retrieved the thought and pointed the tomato end of his sword at Lloyd. Kratos appeared somewhere behind them, and at the sight of Zelos pointing his allergy-laced weapon at Lloyd, was visibly angered. Lloyd pointed this out. Zelos's slasher smile was quick and freaky, and the next thing Lloyd knew the tomato was in his mouth.

A moment… and then it started.

Lloyd could feel his skin itching up as hives began to creep over it, could feel his throat tighten as the demon maybe-fruit began to conquer his insides. He grabbed his throat, nearly doubled over, choking – and Zelos just watched, because right then a barrage of belts and spiky red hair pushed him to the side, put Lloyd into the Heimlich maneuver, and thrust five-five.

Remnants of tomato spluttered out of Lloyd's mouth; his knees buckled and he fell to the ground, gasping for breath. Kratos took him by the shoulder, frantically turned him around, and swiftly cast First Aid. Lloyd, thusly healed, collapsed and fell to the ground.

"YOU OVERDID IT!" Kratos shouted accusingly, pointing first at Lloyd's unconscious body then at Zelos, and then back again at the body.

A beat, and then he calmly collected himself and walked away.

Lloyd began to stir. "Wh-what happened?"

Zelos snickered.

* * *

"Bud, I told you he's gay for you. You know that nothing beats my observational skills."

Lloyd yawned and wiped the sleep out of his eyes. "Shut up, Zelos."

It was well into the afternoon and the two of them were aimlessly walking around Meltokio, trying to raise funds. This entailed mostly of Zelos talking to every woman in town (and the occasional confused male) while the rest of the party slept comfortable in Zelos's mansion, happily in beds for the first time in months.

Lloyd and Zelos passed through the market, Lloyd eying the miracle gels and seafood stands hungrily. Unfortunately for him, though he had more than enough money to buy out the entire stand three times over, at the moment the party was saving up everything they could for some new weapons, and Raine had suggested that they work through what food they had before buying more luxuries. Lloyd had attempted to get Zelos to throw some of his personal money around while they were in Meltokio, but Zelos was firmly against it, mostly because the last time he spent too much money all at one time, Seles froze his accounts. From the Abbey. Somehow.

Lloyd didn't buy it.

"Lloyd," Zelos said, looking around the area for someone with estrogen that they hadn't already talked to, "I'm serious. About your fa—uh, Kratos."

"A little _too _serious," Lloyd said, completely oblivious to Zelos's brief slip, something which he might later credit to his hunger and sleep deprivation. "I'm calling this entire thing off. Seriously, I prefer my life over you obtaining the knowledge you crave about Kratos's sexual orientation." He paused for a moment, briefly pondered if Genis was rubbing off on him because of the sheer amount of big words in that sentence, and then added, "Also I think that maybe _you're _the gay one."

Zelos smirked. Lloyd's eyes widened.

"Hi," Zelos said to a woman passing by, still looking at Lloyd with that devious smirk, "I'm the Chosen." She giggled and gave him the keys to her house. He spun them around in his hand, all the while still smirking at Lloyd, a glint in his eye.

"Zelos, you—"

Zelos stretched out his arms. "C'mere, Bud. Give me a hug."

And then he chased Lloyd all over Meltokio. It was a weird sight to the say the least, to see the Chosen of Tethe'alla chasing a seventeen-year-old boy all over the city, but Meltokio was never known for being boring. Steadily, a group of girls began to gather and watch the chase, cheering Zelos on. Unfortunately for them, Lloyd was faster, lighter on his feet, and he zipped through Meltokio without a problem. He made his way all the way up to the upper class and was heading towards Zelos's mansion to go hide behind the girls or something when he looked back to see if the Chosen was still on his heels and then – _bam!_

"Lloyd?"

He slammed right into Sheena, and the two of them were falling back until Sheena, being an awesome ninja, caught her balance and kept Lloyd up, too. Zelos skidded to a stop behind them, horror etched upon his face as he noticed the scene and took in Sheena.

"Crap, Sheena, I—"

"He was chasing me!" Lloyd exclaimed, whirling around and pointing an accusatory finger, "And being ambiguous again! I feel sexually harassed!"

Zelos got a nosebleed before Sheena punched him, but he was fairly broken up afterwards, too.

* * *

"Bud—"

"No."

"Just—"

"_No_."

"But if—"

"Shut up!"

"And Sheena—"

"Zelos!"

* * *

_I can't believe he convinced me to do this._

"Kratos?" asked Lloyd tentatively. The angel, who had been playing with Noishe, looked up expectantly with a grunt. Lloyd gulped and went on, "Zelos wanted to know mmpff—"

"—If you could teach him how to make a decent sandwich. As you know, his suck."

"…Fine," said Kratos, twitching as Zelos carried a struggling Lloyd away.

* * *

It was at Lloyd's first official sandwich making class that Zelos was finally appeased. Upon inspection of their makeshift classroom (their campsite), the tree in the corner was Zelos. Upon further inspection, it was rather obvious that Kratos was perfectly aware of that and had always known what was going on, something that could probably be credited to a variety of things, such as his magical angel hearing.

Sighing, Kratos stood up from his log and walked briskly toward Lloyd, where he kneeled, took Lloyd's hand, and kissed the back of it. "I love you," he admitted coolly, and as the tree in the corner cheered, he returned to teaching his student, who was now staring blankly ahead, going over every moment he had ever shared with Kratos and seeing them all in an entirely new light. Oh, _what_.

The exsphere that Kratos's lips had just barely brushed was turning a deep shade of red; Lloyd figured that it was a reaction to having been in contact with an angel or something, and anyway, he didn't care, because _what_.

* * *

That evening, Lloyd made up his mind to talk to Kratos. He found him seated moodily on a rock, dramatically watching the sky. He looked like he was waiting for something; probably an order from Cruxis, or a manual on stalking or something. Not that he'd need it.

At hearing Lloyd's footsteps, Kratos turned around and acknowledged his presence with a _hmph_.

"What are you waiting for?" asked Lloyd, frowning. "Or can you not sleep?" Kratos nearly laughed at that. "Oh, right, sorry."

Then Kratos answered, "The script."

Puzzled, Lloyd blinked and asked, "The what?"

Kratos repeated evenly, "The script."

"Uh…"

Lloyd could swear he saw Kratos's eye twitch when he said, "The _script. _You know, the thing that you and the Chosen keep on _completely ignoring?_" He hesitated, looking from side to side to see if anyone was eavesdropping, then continued speaking fast, getting louder with each word. "The thing that tells us what we're supposed to say and when and how? The one that reveals, Lloyd, that _I am your father_?"

Shocked, Lloyd began to back up. "Whoa, wait, what're you—?"

"I love you, Lloyd!" Kratos shouted at the top of his lungs, knowing full well that Zelos could hear this even in his wet dreams—a shiver went down his spine as he thought what such a dream might contain—"I love you _so much_ it hurts and _screw Mithos's stupid plan, _you're my son!"

"Wh-what the hell are you going on about?"

"How much easier can I make this?" Kratos shouted, leaping off the rock and getting into Lloyd's face, inching closer and closer with each word. "I. Banged. Anna." Then just as quickly as he invaded Lloyd's personal space he backed off and was pointing frantically at his clothes. "You see these? These were a gift. _From Anna. Who I banged. And then _you _were born._" An angel messenger appeared behind Kratos carrying yet another ridiculously thick book. Without even bothering to look at the cover, Kratos forcefully grabbed it and madly shred the book to pieces with his own hands. "You see that? This was the _script_. You weren't supposed to know all this until _later! _And you know what? You know _what_, Lloyd Irving?"

Lloyd, who had backed away into a corner, squeaked, "Y-You're not gay?"

Kratos froze. Sighing, he admitted, "No." He slumped back onto his rock, defeated, and wondered when they sun would rise so that they could head out already. "No, Lloyd, I'm not gay."


End file.
